Reflection

This year has been a strange one for writing. In 2017, my workload at my three day jobs was heavier than it has ever been-- teaching six courses across three campuses is no joke. Some health issues that had been pretty well in hand flared up worse than they ever have. And the general social-political climate has been a dumpster fire. I laid plans for what I wanted to accomplish this year, but most of them have had to be set aside or reworked, for better or worse.

But, even amid the chaos, 2017 has been a productive year. My single shot "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" finally hit digital shelves. My Mata Hari short story got picked up for an anthology, and final proofs are in. I sold a 20k word novella to a publisher, and it should be out sometime in 2018. MY writing group published our short story anthology. Most of these things weren't part of the plan, but I'm chalking them up as successes anyway.

If I really sit and think about it, I probably made at least as much progress this year as last year. I got words on the page and honed my revision skills. I (mostly) kept writing a habit--not writing every day, but writing more days than not, which is in the end the best I can ask for considering my schedule. I finished the things I started.  I met my deadlines, if only just. But 2017's progress looks very different from 2016's.

Last year was all about getting a novel first draft to completion. The words that I put down in 2016 were all aimed at getting a solid draft one of Project 2016 pinned down. This year has lacked that single-minded focus, at least until the last couple of months. I suppose 2017 was an exploration in shorter fiction. Most of this year's output was on the shorter end. I completed three projects this year: the 20K novella, the 12K Mata Hari story, and the 5K story for the writing group anthology--this compared to the 85K of words initially written for Project 2016 last year.

It exercises a different part of my brain to write shorter fiction. I'm able to be a little more experimental. Even though I still like going in with a plan, I usually don't have solid outlines for shorter work. I take my pitch and pin down a few specific plot points or set pieces from there and pants my way through. More often than not, I end up having to go in a direction that I didn't anticipate (usually because I forgot to include some aspect from the pitch until way late). This practice in rolling with the punches has been helpful in the Project 2016 revision process--but more on that later.

This year also marks the first time I've written characters that I didn't create--outside of fanfiction, that is. It's an interesting challenge to mold how you approach a character to the expectations of someone else. I'm not sure I always did it successfully, but writing with a set of restraints has made me more aware of how well I'm sticking to the established code for a character.

I wrote some new work this year, but if I really had to say what the biggest writing challenge for 2017 has been, I'd say it was revision. Project 2016 has seen a pretty serious overhaul this year, starting in October after a first-ten-pages review through Manuscript Academy (I cannot recommend this site enough--I've gotten so much valuable insight through using it). This led to a restructuring of chapter 1, which led me to seek out a critique partner. Author Wendy Heard manages a great service for writers seeking a critique partner: someone with a similar level of experience who writes in similar categories who will look through your entire manuscript to help you figure out what aspects need fixing. You just fill out the google form in the link above, and she and her partners find a match for you. I found a great CP through this (shout out to Colleen!) who's helped me make Project 2016 a stronger piece.

I'm not new to revising. This isn't even close to the first round of revisions that Project 2016 has been through. But where I've struggled in the past is the depth of revisions. I'm really good at making cosmetic changes--adding a new coat of paint, essentially. Most of the time, though, the revisions that I really need to make are more structural--not just sprucing up the surface, but changing something in the foundation. That roll-with-the-punches skill I talked about developing with short fiction has been essential here. There have been sections that have had to undergo blank-page rewrites: I've had to scrap whole scenes, sometimes whole chapters, and write them again from scratch. It's the hardest work I've ever done, and I'm not always happy about doing it, but there's no arguing with the results.

I've also figured out my process for dealing with critique. It's a weird thing--I know my work isn't perfect. I even know that it has serious flaws in some places. But I don't like someone pointing the flaws out, even though that's the whole point of having a critique partner. I've gotten really upset about some of the revisions that have been suggested. I've griped and moaned and complained. And then I've soldiered on.

What usually happens is that I take an initial look at the comments. I get mad and huffy. I complain. But I don't cross any of the comments out. I leave them and come back, usually after a day or two. Then I'm able to take a step back and ask some questions. Did I bump against this because I don't want to do all the work it would require? Did my CP miss a small item earlier in the chapter/story and how much of that is quick reading or gaps between seeing chapters and how much of it is a hint that I didn't drop well enough? Does this comment indicate that I didn't describe what was going on with a character well enough? Does this suggestion go against the planned thread of the story, and does that suggest that I didn't set up something well enough earlier?

More often than not, I end up making the suggested changes, at least in part. One of my most common conclusions is something like, "Yeah, okay, this is a problem, but that's not the solution I want to go with." It's been a lot of work. A LOT of work, and I'm just over halfway done. But the work's been worth it. When I sent in my first 50 pages for an agent critique, the comments were overwhelmingly positive. Even if they did lead to (another) rewrite of chapter 1.

I feel like I've done so much work this year, but it also seems like I've had less to show for it. In 2016, my first novel was published, and it was a big deal. I've seen two projects through to publication in 2017, and I'm relatively proud of both--I'd argue that both are better written than my first novel, at least. But I've watched some of my fellow writers outpace me, publish two or three books in the time it's taken me to get to a point where I'm ready to move forward with this one. It's not a race, I know, and my work will ultimately benefit from the time I've taken with it. Still, 2017 has left me feeling a little stuck in the mud.

The year's almost over, and there's still work to be done. I hope to be query-ready in early 2018. Once Project 2016 is querying, I'm ready to start something new. I'd like to finish an alpha draft of my next book in 2018, and I know I'll have a few shorter pieces that'll need writing. Maybe next year I'll be able to find a better balance. Either way, the writing's not done. It never will be.